Ok. Ask anyone in my family about playing games with me and they might tell you I am known as the Uno Nazi. This is an affectionate name given to me for my competitive nature in all things including but not limited to: Card games, putt-putt, how fast I can out-run you or how much more cake I can eat than you. Of all the games I cherish dominating the most, this news disturbs me.
Some important gaming rules:
1.) The only object is to win. If you want to have fun then do something else like drive fast at night with no headlights on.
2.) There are no age handicaps. Its up to you to teach children the cold hard fact that losing sucks more than anything. Remind them of rule number 1.
3.) Rules are there for a reason. It’s the foundation that you have honed your skills against for a lifetime. If someone doesn’t follow the rules, then immediately drop an “f” bomb and remind everyone within shouting distance the all important rule number 1.
4.) If you find that you are losing, simply remind everyone what a completely retarded game you are playing and that if they would like to wrestle or box you for first place – you are more than ready. Rule number 1 remember?!
July 26, 2006 at 2:42 pm
I would think you would like the new system… it keeps people following the rules and stops certain people bent on pretend-real-estate-market-domination from “borrowing”.
July 26, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Yes, but is so much more difficult to flangrantly shuffle all of the $500.00 bills.
July 26, 2006 at 5:06 pm
plus “accidently” knocking the monopoly game off the table and scattering everyone’s properties and money will be a lot harder…. maybe “accidental” emp or something…
July 28, 2006 at 1:58 am
That was no “accident” and not even veiled as one. It was the temper tantrum of a 15-year-old boy who would rather pick up the board and throw it off the table because it was a *ucking stupid kids game. No way was he going to be a loser. Should I bring my virgin (be gentle, she’s never been used before, much less abused) deluxe monopoly game down tomorrow for a weekend of fun?
July 28, 2006 at 1:25 pm
No need. We have a new Pirates of the Carribbean monopoly game, which comes with a disney licensed 1/5th of rum. That should have an excellent effect on the temperment of all the players.
July 28, 2006 at 5:54 pm
so instead of go to jail do we have to get marooned without rum?
when we pass go do we do a shot of rum?
July 28, 2006 at 6:47 pm
I like these “house rules” already!