#163 – Always be prepared for any eventuality

By Akbar

Instead of working 8 hours a day, I like to invest my time in preparing for whatever life throws at me.  Today I am studying How to survive a freestyle rap battle.  There really is no doubt that I will inflict serious rap damage on some unsuspecting punk now.

god-damn ridiculous is the name of my label
cut you down quick like fresh flowers on my table

I can rap longer than my commute on 270
got me a razr to converse telephonically

cant drink 40’s cause they started to kill me
don’t drink nuthin’ but gangsta rap sweet tea

cant touch me cause your rhymes are tintinnabulous
i’ll be dropping bombs like “man that shirt is fabulous”

Oh – no my friend, it is you that has been served.

Word.

7 Responses to “#163 – Always be prepared for any eventuality”

  1. ktbird Says:

    don’t have time for yo rappin inginuity
    cause i be workin into perpetuity

  2. Deirdre Says:

    Brilliant.

    Bravo.

  3. Charlie Says:

    Thanks!

    When Katie and I start our next business, the tagline will be “Performance Into Perpetuity” Just one of the many businesses owned by Caveat Emptor Enterprises.

  4. Deirdre Says:

    I see your serve and raise you one freestyle rap reply:

    What? Yo! I heard you rappin at me
    You better shut that flapping mouth cause I be feeling slappy.

    Now I aint gonna waste my rhymes spitting on you, brother
    No, I be spending my fine mind spitting on your mother.

    It’s criminal how good I am! Call the constabulary!
    I rap real good because I have a fine flocabulary.

    I see your head is spinning cause you know my rhyme is real
    The secret, bitch, is easy — I just ate a hearty meal.

    Crack is whack! Word out.

  5. ktbird Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  6. Charlie Says:

    I got raps sweeter than eminem peanuts

    Check-it:

    clickity-clack-clack, i aint no vanilla ice
    cause Im a rappin fool like Tron’s a playin’ dice

    i’m spittin’ out raps that make nuclear science seem easy
    so don’t make me george jefferson you wheezy

    got more raps than keys on a piano
    dance so whack, like anthony soprano

    raps so tight, my dance so groovy
    yo mo’ flappa, slide me a smooovie

    freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle

  7. Charlie Says:

    a big “shout out” to my vanilla brutha Joe B. for his most excellent navy story about his time on a sub in the pacific – operating the soft ice cream machine “yo mo flappa – slide me a smoovie”. I have carried that around for years.

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