In what can only be described as a”Classic Charlie Moment”, I got into an argument with a retarded gas attendant yesterday. By retarded, I don’t mean that he was simply disagreeing with me – which makes you retarded by default – no, I mean he was actually mentally handicapped. It seems that Sams Club has found a home for the mentally retarded and employs them as Gas Station Attendants. This is incredibly nice of Sams Club, as the gas station is completely self-service pay-at-the pump with no cash transactions. It seems the Retarded Gas Station Attendants job is to remind you when you arent pumping gas correctly. Case in point:
After beginning to pump gas, i got back into my truck to talk to my wife for a while. You see – with 22 gallons to go, there isnt much for me to do while the gas is pumping. The retarded gas station attendant knocked on my window and began reading the “Static Warning” label on the gas pump.
This is where my true personality begins to shine through. I immediately began challenging the Retard to “how in the hell could getting in and out of my car could POSSIBLY start a fire?! Give me a fucking break”. About this time, the minivan from New Jersey behind me decides to run to the Retards rescue with: “Hey, it’s true – i saw it on 60 minutes!” To which I replied “Does that mean it’s true? When 60 minutes lit a truck on fire and said that it blew up, was that true too? Sounds like journalistic sensationalism to me!” At about this time, some other washed up old biker guy two pumps over – witnessing that Overweight Dad from New Jersey and Retarded Gas Station Attendant were no match for my wits chimes in “Yea – dont you know anything, thats why you cant use your cell phone, havent you heard about turning off two-way radio’s in a blasting zone?!!” Well this comment stuns me, as i have absolutely no freaking idea what this nut job is talking about. Realizing that the best defense is a good offense, i shout back “I’m not talking about a cell phone you idiot, im talking about getting in and out of my car.” “Oh, sorry” he says. Well “oh sorry” isnt good enough for Charlie – so i yell back “…which is why you shouldnt butt into other peoples conversations when you dont know what the hell your talking about!”
Profanity laced craziness ensues….
Fast forward to today. I would like everyone to please watch the following video:
http://www.pei.org/static/static.mov
By the way, I submitted my application to Sams Club this morning.
November 20, 2006 at 8:18 pm
lmao.
November 26, 2006 at 3:28 pm
dude thats hilarious! if that happened to me, id hand the pump to the retard!!!
November 27, 2006 at 4:17 pm
LOL!
December 6, 2006 at 11:20 pm
i heard they are having a job fair next week
December 7, 2006 at 5:42 pm
Are you applying?
December 12, 2006 at 3:30 am
And may your gene pool increase. In my world, my wife would have been the one laying down the law of logic to all the unwashed masses. The overweight dad & washed up old biker would have teamed up to kick MY ass across the parkinglot into the empty field and then maybe across the highway. And the worse part is that I would be in agreement with them. Having occasionaly worked in that 5th demension of ’static electricity’ I have been forced to wear grounding wires while touching things besides my wife. Don’t understand it, just want to do what they tell me so that I can get a pay check at the end of the day and still be alive to collect it.